It’s hard being casual around performative queerness
Sapphic Gaze at the VMAs
Wednesday night at the VMAs, Sabrina Carpenter performed her latest single “Taste” for a ravenous crowd. As the song neared its climax, she tossed aside the hunky astronaut representing her ex and embraced the alien he’d traded her for.
The moment was both an homage to Britney and Madonna on the VMA stage in 2003, and a reference to Taste’s music video, where Carpenter locks lips with Jenna Ortega.
Here’s my confession. I haven’t watched Taste. It should be right up my alley: narrative, pop music, wlw, Taylor Swift-adjacent. But I can’t make myself. It makes me uncomfortable for the same reason Britney and Madonna’s kiss did 20 years ago: it’s not meant for me, an actual sapphic.
I know, I know. “Don’t assume her sexuality!” Frankly, it’s irrelevant. Sabrina Carpenter may cry herself to sleep every night, overcome with sapphic yearning. But she’s a hyper-feminine, straight-passing woman who doesn’t experience the social consequences of being queer. Sabrina Carpenter kissing a girl is hot, not gross. It’s not only accepted but encouraged by the male gaze it pretends to reject.
This isn’t a criticism of Sabrina. When Carpenter’s on camera, you know she’s playing a character. She’s an over-the-top, perverted Polly Pocket Princess (complimentary). I think performative sexuality can be empowering for her leagues of female fans. I even think performative girl kissing can help move the needle of public acceptance.
But that doesn’t mean it’s for me. When I kiss my wife, it’s an expression of my deepest self. It’s not a costume I can put on for my art or a spotlight to point the narrative. My queerness is me.
Enter: Chappell Roan.
MTV chose to highlight Chappell, nominated for Best New Artist, by inviting her to perform at the VMAs. As an out singer-songwriter from Missouri whose songs feature undeniably queer themes, Roan’s art speaks directly to my experiences as a queer woman from the same state.
For all the queer kids in the Midwest watching right now, I see you, I understand you, because I’m one of you.
If you don’t know Chappell, run to Spotify right now and listen to her album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess. Chappell’s huge voice, infectious production, and cheeky lyricism will have you dancing like you’re at the Pink Pony Club.
Chappell experienced a meteoric rise to fame this summer, culminating in winning in her category. Roan wowed with her performance of her latest single Good Luck, Babe! The song explores compulsory heterosexuality, with Chappell wishing luck to her lover who has retreated to straight-passing safety. In fact, it tells a similar story as Taste, but where Sabrina’s beau returns to a ex, Roan’s paramour returns to a societal norm.
Like Sabrina Carpenter, Chappell Roan is an over-the-top character, a literal drag persona. She wore a 600 year old cape on the red carpet, yelled at a rude photographer, and shot a burning crossbow into a castle during her set, evoked both Joan of Arc and Julie d’Aubigny. But during her acceptance speech, clutching her award and reading from her diary, she spoke directly to me.
I dedicate this to all the drag artists who inspire me, and I dedicate this to queer and trans people that fuel pop, to the gays who dedicate my songs to someone they love or hate. And thank you to the people who are fans, who listen to me, who hear me when I share my joy and my fears. Thank you for listening. And for all the queer kids in the Midwest watching right now, I see you, I understand you, because I’m one of you, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t be exactly who you wanna be, bitch.
I am the target audience. I don’t have to squint my brain at her lyrics or themes to find myself in them. If her VMA performance had ended with her scaling a burning tower to smooch a damsel trapped inside, I wouldn’t feel any ambiguity.
On the red carpet before the event, Chappell was asked about the inspiration for her costume. She said “I’m not going to give too much away, but I would say…take notes.” We can only hope it’s a Good Luck, Babe! music video with the aesthetic of her performance. Chappell in chainmail, featuring a sword and hopefully a love interest? That’s a music video I’m actually excited for.